Bad To Worse: Choosing The New Sixers Mascot

As Hip Hop limps out of our lives, the time has come to choose a new Mascot for your 76ers. It’s obviously something important to the new owners given the spotlight that it has taken. So with the help of the Jim Henson Creature Shop and the former Phanatic, three new options have been selected for you to vote on for the future felt face of the franchise.

Because a steroid infused rabbit dressed in CB4 garb is really not a fit with the Sixers, a change was due to be made. So this time around I’m sure the mascot will make more sense. Right?

Waaaaa. Waaaaa. Waaaa. Waaaaaah.

This is Phil E. Moose. Yes a moose. That makes way more sense than a rabbit because, well because…I got nothing. Real thought went into this one. Have we really entered the “slap a revolutionary jacket on him and there you go” stage? Look I get it. I love the Phanatic and he’s a creature. But lets not get high and mighty about the rabbit if a moose is among your first choices.

This is Big Ben. He makes way more sense. That is unless you are creeped out by an old man spending time with your children. Nothing says fun for kids more than a geriatric. Does he shoot Werther’s Originals into the crowd? Is there a Metamucil night? And how exactly does Big Ben fire up the crowd in the 4th quarter? However it is I hope there is a paramedic standing by.

Finally, this is B. Franklin Dogg. You are not getting this one by me. That’s just McGruff in a hat. That’s not even trying. And you can’t just name him Franklin and make it Philly. Why not just put a Sixers logo on Tony The Tiger’s handkerchief and call it a day.

Well done Sixers. Well done. Hip Hop, you have been wronged and a Moose might be the one holding the knife on this one.

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