Anthony Weiner Teaches Us All A Lesson…And Goes Shirtless For The Ladies

Oh Anthony Weiner, you are the gift that keeps on giving. Like so many before you…Tiger, Mel Gibson, Jesse James…just when you think all the jokes have been made and it’s time to pack up the circus, the guy busts out some “pussy” jokes and a shirtless pic. Thank you.

The Congressman last week debated the authenticity of his own underwear, which I have to give him a little wiggle room on. Has a man ever bought his own pair of underwear? I swear mine have magically appeared in one fashion or another since the days they were called “roos”. I thank Mom and Girlfriends for that.

But today Andrew Breitbart, who has dedicated his past week to Weinergate, blew the whole thing open at BigGovernment.com. Apparently not only is there a Tweetdeck time stamp trail, but also new pictures where he captions “me and the pussys” (SEE ABOVE). And ladies, if you dig the downstairs…you are gonna love the roof deck. Check out Weiner shirtless in this pic also released today.

Thank you Anthony Weiner for making everyone’s job a little easier. Thank you for not being able to identify your own crotch “with certitude“. And thank you for the platform to deliver this public service announcement.

Gentlemen, you will never ever benefit from sending dirty pictures of yourself to females. This is one of those practices that we are meant to be on the receiving end of only. Something they get to do that we don’t. You put together the IKEA bookcase, she sends the dirty pictures. It’s the balance of the world friends.

The shirtless man is not something special. Unlike the breast, it is seen everywhere in society from TV to the sweaty guy who does yard work next door. And your penis will never be exciting. No matter what they tell you it’s not “hot” and doesn’t “turn her on”. It looks like those things that pop out of the fake Peanut Brittle can when you want to surprise someone. These feelings don’t come from a place of shame about my own but from reality. Think about it. There’s a reason Snuffleupagus was never anybody’s favorite on Sesame Street.

Do yourself a favor and keep the Weiner in the Gate. Thank you.

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