I suspect that Katy Perry and Lady Gaga have received several emails about their Klout score today.

The two collectively have blown up the internet with new songs, duets, and videos of spooning with ice this week. It’s a pop battle that will no doubt last throughout the month and beyond.

First the singles…

Katy Perry – Roar

I hope they make another “Step Up” sequel soon so this song doesn’t go to waste. The most interesting thing about “Roar” is that everyone thinks it sounds like Sarah Bareilles‘ “Brave“. Unfortunately you’ll hear this one far more than the Bareilles tune because “kids these days” and “Obama!” (shakes fist towards sky)

The fact that Katy Perry has put out a song that’s kind of like another song or style shouldn’t be news. She’s got a rep for being a human GLEE episode. Even her boyfriend style is copied. Yep, put that in the burn book.

I know, I know….timelines.

The real story is there is nothing here. The hook states she has “the eye of the tiger” which is super relevant. The rest is like a cliché mad libs, and truthfully probably sets her back in pop-star-progression a couple years.

Lady Gaga – Applause

Mother Monster counters with “Applause” and it sounds like sweaty, German leather. For someone set to put out an album called “Artpop” and touts its artistic merits, this sure doesn’t sound gallery-ready. It’s simple, it’s a show opener, it’s less impactful than any of the other big releases we’ve seen from Gaga over the past couple of years. “Judas” was provocative, “Born This Way” inspiring…”Applause” is a cheerleading routine.

Although I did get to add “kunst” to my vocabulary so…

But wait, there’s more. Additionally two duets were leaked today. Katy Perry with John Mayer on “Who You Love“, which is basically Mayer trading a verse for motorboats. And then there’s the Gaga and Cher song “The Greatest Thing” that leaked today (but really a while ago), that’s an animated infectious bounce sure to kill gay men with it’s sheer gloss upon listening.

If this was an “Anchorman” News Team fight, Perry and Mayer would be E!, Gaga and Cher would be Bravo.

Good grief. So many more days of this.