Caught In The Web: Your Girlfriend Is A Whore On Halloween

Happy Halloween folks. I hope you get to eat your weight in Kit-Kats today. It’s a day for candy, and pumpkins, and scary things. But most of all it’s a day for your girlfriend to use her “Whore For A Day” pass that is granted each and every Halloween. I defy you to walk ten feet today without tripping over a Sexy Nurse.

I have a lovely girlfriend who believes funny is always better when it comes to costumes, so you can imagine how hard it was to find that kind of needle in the slut-stack during our trip to Halloween Adventure. She managed, but barely. We were swimming in a sea of “sexy” versions of everything.

Look, I’m not against this approach to Halloween. I get it. I get why you do it. But come on, it’s gotten a little over-saturated. We’ve approached a point in time where every Halloween party looks like it’s being held at Christine’s Cabaret. The proof is that we have moved to a place where there is a sexy version of each and every costume. Don’t believe me? Check out some of these latest selections found by Buzzfeed on HalloweenExpress.com. I bet you didn’t think they could make Big Bird sexy. Well, they did.

Ursula

Frosty The Snowman

Popeye

Edward Scissorhands

Skunk

Raccoon

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Chucky

Big Bird

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